Philip's Dream

My stepbrother, Philip, preached at church on Saturday night. It was awesome. The things he talked about were some things that have been weighing on my heart for the past few months, Like, finding our purpose, breaking free of your chains (everything that may be holding us back) and becoming the people God created us to be.

Then he talked about this dream he had. He was standing at the gates of heaven. God said he's let him in. As Philip was aout to step into Heaven, he sees hundred of poeple stnading off to the side. He asks God where they are going. God tells him to hell and when Philip asks why, God informs him its becuase of him. "They are going to hell because of you."

It made me stop and think ... who is going ot hell because of me? Because I didn't share the gospel with them. Who were going to be those people stnading off the side when I get to Heaven? I immediately thought of the person sitting to my right that evening ... Mike. I though of my brother, my sister and Katie. The people I'm closest to in life. It started to hurt so bad. How could I be so close to these people and them not know the love of Jesus?

I thought about it all night and all the next day. Then I started to think about not only the people in my life that I know, but complete strangers. How do people percieve me? Does the way I act or think make people want to know about Christ? How many people have I turned off?

So, I was feeling pretty crappy and feeling like a subpar Christ follower. I was feeling so discouraged and felt that I wasn't making any sort of difference.

Then God spoke.

This kid I knew in college, Kurt (I was acutally his boss at the newspaper), IMed me and left me this message. Basically he said he read my AIM info and said that it made a lot of sense to him. In my profile I write "Fulfilling God's purpose happens by choice, not by chance" and "God chose me, therefore it is always too soon to give up." Through Kurt, God was telling me not to give up. He told me to keep persuing it and keep on pushing on. I totally needed that.

I sent Kurt a message on Facebook telling him that I'm glad my words meant something to him, because I really needed to hear what he told me. So he wrote back ... "It's just kinda cool because I daydream alot and start f*in around on the internet and aim, and what you put in their makes alot of sense for me, especially now. I've had probably one of the most f*ed up times of my life in the months after I got out of school. God definatly helped me out, and I realized that he does have a plan, but you have to be willing to achieve the final destination of the path he puts you on."

So, God is awesome. I can't see what he does with my life and the lives of people in it.